Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Fond Farewell

When I read the post I wrote one year ago today, it feels like ages and ages ago. I still shudder when I think about how horrible 2012 was. 2013 was so kind to me. This year I applied and was accepted to grad school, I (finally!) got pregnant, I gave birth to an almost 10 pound baby boy-- without medication, we moved to a house, we bought a second car, I visited family in California and Utah, and I rocked my first semester of grad school (4.0 folks). Obviously those are just the big things.
I used to think everything happened for a reason-- that all the hard things in my life happened to teach me a specific lesson. I think that attitude is part of what made 2012 so hard. I didn't understand what I was supposed to be learning from all of that junk, and it felt a little unfair-- like, "why is this happening to me??" And the thing I learned from all of that is that it's just life. Sometimes life just. plain. sucks. I hope in the coming years when I have another 2012 (because it's bound to happen) I can just roll with the punches a little better rather than getting bogged down by what it all means. Also because, just as sure as I'll have terrible years again, I'll also have more years just like this one.
I am looking forward to 2014. I don't have huge exciting plans (though Sam and I are planning to run the Richmond half marathon in November together), but I am looking forward to establishing a routine and getting out to explore this fine city again (now that I have a buddy to accompany me!). I'm not setting any resolutions because I never, never keep them. So I'm just going to keep doing what I was doing for the whole last year: work hard. I worked really hard this year to be emotionally stable (not an easy task for me), and I worked really hard to kick grad school's and childbirth's ass. I totally did it!
So, a fond farewell, 2013. Who knew you would be so great?

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


On Monday I had my very last class of the semester-- and, as predicted, I did write my paper on Sunday night. 
I learned a lot of things this semester: namely, going to school during your last trimester of pregnancy (and first month postpartum) is no easy task. I had no idea how exhausting it would be!
Also this introduction to grad school was awesome. Everyone wanted to be there, all of the assignments were relevant, and my professor felt more like a guide than an instructor. 
I also gained a lot of confidence. I went into this semester feeling rather self-conscious of my age, my lack of professional experience, and the fact that I've been a stay-at-home mom for the last five and a half years. It's a work in progress, but I feel much more confident in my ideas and my ability to contribute to the class. At the beginning of the semester I felt panicked to make any comments, but by our final class I felt my undergraduate fervor returning and I was making comments left and right. (Maybe too many, as it turns out?)
Looking back it may have been a better plan for me to take the fall semester off and then start in January, but instead I am taking this next semester off and will return in the summer or fall. It will be good to dedicate myself to finding my groove as a mom-of-a-baby again, but I am already looking forward to getting back to school. 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

I had a baby and stuff

There are a million blog posts going through my head these days. I barely have a free second to eat lunch most days let alone make my thoughts coherent. Babies are the weirdest things. Somehow I do nearly nothing all day, but I have no time to do anything else. This newborn phase is short lived, though, and soon I'll be spending leisurely afternoons reading books and going to museums with my new little dude. 
Before that happens, though, I've got to figure out how were going to manage feeding. Bria was bottle fed because that girl wouldn't even try to latch. It's something I've mourned ever since. And now here comes my champion latcher, and my milk supply is practically non-existent. (When your baby is dehydrated and losing weight, you take these things very seriously.) So this new baby adjustment is now including coming to terms with the fact that both of my children will be formula-fed. I have lots more to say about this, but for now, I will just continue to let myself have some good cries about it. 
And, oh yeah, still finishing up the semester, folks! Final paper due Monday, and I'm pretty sure it's gonna get written on Sunday night. 
But look! I had a really cute baby, so it's all good.