grinch results

Sometimes you put your daughter to bed early. Even if that means she'll stay up chatting in bed past when she would normally fall asleep, it's ok. Because sometimes long days just need to be that 10 minutes shorter. But something that makes me happy is we've gone two days without a tantrum. I'm not saying I think that will become three, then four, then forever, but I'm happy to have a break. Those things are intense.

While Bria was at school today I had a couple options of things to do. One was catch up on last night's Private Practice, and the other was to run to the store and make dinner for a friend (and mother of three) whose husband is out of town for a month straight. I debated until nearly the last minute, and the more charitable side of me won. I am so happy I chose to delay whatever sort of entertainment I get from watching tv dramas in favor of delivering a bit of cheer to my friend. It actually has a lot to do with anxiety. I love to do little things for people I care about, but I am always worried about how it will be received. In making dinner for someone, I am instantly filled with panic about whether they will think it's gross or, if they have kids, whether they will think it's gross and then it's more of a hassle in the end for them. But I doubt that's actually ever happened, and if it has, well, if the tables were turned, I would always be grateful for a friend's gesture of kindness.

I talked with my dad on the phone today for a while (which makes me super happy! because usually he's about a 3 minute convo type guy), and I was telling him about the tantrums Bria's been throwing lately (see above), and I reminded myself by telling him how important it is to respect a child's agency. I am grateful bria is her own person and she is discovering her personality. I am grateful my belief system revolves heavily around respecting choice. As frustrating and exhausting it is to parent a young child who is exercising her agency, it's exhilarating to watch her develop and grow. I hope she learns how to be well-adjusted in this world while never denying who she truly is and what she truly desires out of life. This is the type of stuff that makes parenthood heart-wrenching. The elation and the exhaustion are so extreme, sometimes I'm not sure I'll survive feeling such intense emotions on such a consistent basis. This must be how one's heart grows and grows.

Brinner Strikes Again

We ate waffles for dinner. I'd say we do brinner a total of 3 times a year, so this is quite the interesting coincidence! Apparently it makes me happier than I realize.

In January, I decided my mantra for the year would be "respect your body so you can trust your body." For myraid health reasons, I'm trying to give up refined sugar and white flour (actually, including white potatoes and white rice!). Which sometimes (today) feels impossible. I know I will be happy if I do it, but I'm not quite sure how to get there. I have been exercising every weekday morning at 6:00 since September, which is the most consistently I have exercised before. Ever. In my entire life. And it feels amazing. Two weeks ago I took off because my sister was in town and then my exercise partner went out of town, and I felt so sluggish all week. I ended up needing a nap everyday, I felt cranky, and I craved more junk food. Snapping back to my exercise habits that last two weeks has been like night and day. The sad part is, I think I used to feel like that every single day! So, now that I'm trying to give up sugar and white flour, I wonder how great it will make me feel, and obviously don't I want that? I'm going to try to work harder for it.

For her birthday, Bria wants a strawberry cake with pudding, strawberry frosting, and strawberries all over the cake. This girl knows what she wants. Please, let her never lose that.

peeking from behind clouds

Some days it's hard to be thankful for much-- like when your husband's show gets canceled. (Especially when you already set some serious balls in motion when he got that now-non-existent contract.) But regardless of my family's employment status, my life is full of many wonderful things.

The chocolate raspberry pavlova I made last night
A kind and loving husband who is my best friend (even when work stressed him to the max)
A healthy daughter who was finally able to go to the doctor yesterday
A shining sun and a mild winter
Gossip Girl streaming on Netflix (hey, a girl is allowed guilty pleasures.)

pancake positivity

I think the thing that made everyone in DC happy the last two days was the weather. It was over 70 degrees yesterday! On February 1st! Amazing, I tell you. This winter has been so mild, which is particularly beneficial for my mental health.

Also beneficial is learning that today is Candlemas, so I have an excuse to make and eat pancakes for dinner. Who doesn't love Brinner?

The first report of happy

So one thing I want to do with this here blog is post things that make me happy. So today, here are some things.

1. Sam didn't go to work until 3:30 pm today (which isn't the happy part), but it meant we had the morning together while Bria was at preschool. We thought about cleaning and working and what-not, but instead we watched Parks and Recreation AND 2 episodes of 30 Rock. Watching tv in the morning? That makes me super happy, y'all.

2. We went to the park for a quick outing before Sam left, and it was SIXTY degrees, so, obvs, I didn't bring a coat. However, my weather app didn't mention how windy it was, so I was f.r.e.e.z.i.n.g. at the park. But the blue skies made it worth it.

3. This dates back to elementary school, but whenever I go to anyone's house or any social event or basically have any agreement to interact with someone, I always panic last minute that I've got the wrong day, time, or person. (Has this ever actually happened to me? No.) But despite my random anxiety, I asked a friend if I could borrow a movie, she said yes, I walked to her house, knocked on her door (after re-checking our text convo to verify the arrangement), and even chatted a while before leaving. This is a big step for me, friends. Spontaneous social interaction (which led to a movie night)? Score! Happy!

4. And now it's the weekend. The world is a good place. 

New Beginnings

For a long time I've wanted a new blog. Somewhere to to write about more than food, but not something dedicated to the goings-on of my family. A place where I can be and express myself without the inane and angsty ramblings of blogs I maintained in younger years. I read this blog post and realized what I want this new blog to be: a documentation of my search for beauty, joy, peace, truth, and light. In a nutshell, hey! I'm a hippie! And I want to tell you all about it. A common problem with blogs is the crafting of this perfect and happy image, and while I want to document the positive things in this world, I want to be upfront and honest about myself. This blog will be designed to help me see the beauty in life, because all too often, I miss it. There are many, many days when I contribute nothing positive to the world, but I hope that by searching for and documenting more of the happy, joyful, and beautiful moments in life, I will be more aware of the abundance of those things in my life.