Friday, October 11, 2013

Block One: Complete

I am finished with my first block! After filling out a course evaluation and staying for a make-up session, I completed my yoga class. What a relief! Now I can focus on my more-important education class. On Tuesday I go to a local high school to observe English classes all day-- this will be one of two observation days. (Can I just note that I have to be there at 7 am? Seven. In the morning. I'm not sure how that is going to be physically possible.)
I also finished a group project for class on Monday, and can I just say I hate group projects? In fact, I'm not sure I know anyone who likes group projects. But we were all happy with the final product. The benefit of these group projects is they are all online. On the day your group "presents" you just post your presentation to blackboard, and the rest of the class has about four days to contribute to an online discussion of the topic. There is no physical class on presentation days. So the real bonus is there are two of those in November. I hope this means I will only miss one class (the week of Thanksgiving). And now I need to buckle down and write the four papers I have due for the class. My original goal was to turn them all in before the baby is born, and that still seems manageable.

In preparing for the baby, I will say that I am not currently making things easy for myself, because I am a hippie. I have been obsessed with this article I read on Salon a couple weeks ago that compares childbirth to extreme sports. I don't talk very openly about my opinions on childbirth (actually, my first and most important opinion is that every woman has the right to birth in whatever way she wants), but my intention is to have a completely natural, un-medicated, intervention-free birth. I totally get that this does not appeal to everyone most women. But one thing I loved so much from that article was a quote from explorer Peter Mathiessen about his expedition to Antarctica: “What draws me eludes me to the same degree…. A longing it most certainly is, but a longing for what?” I can try to explain my feelings rationally: my body does not react well to pitocin, I do not want to risk another spinal headache, I don't want the increased risk of a c-section, etc., but the reality is that I don't know what draws me to natural childbirth. There is a deep desire that cannot be verbalized. It is a desire to be connected to the primal nature of woman within myself and to feel that raw power.
But it means my preparation for childbirth is much more involved. I actually hope it will translate to an easier recovery this time around (my recovery with Bria was out. of. this. world. horrible, and I was so not prepared for that). So I hope maybe all this hard work and preparation will pay off when I still have school to finish after the baby comes. And this is why I can consider childbirth to be my extreme sports expedition also: I have no idea what to expect in that dark abyss of childbirth/postpartum recovery combined with school. It's a pretty accurate explanation of how I feel to say "here I go . . . into the wild . . . "

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